There Truly are No Bad Dates

Just about any place where America's 90 million single people congregate, whether in person or in social media, the conversation eventually turns to their recent dating experiences. Most of these stories don't have happy endings. Mulling over the pain and frustration seems to be a favorite pastime of those who are on the hunt for The One. 

Many singles have completely sworn off dating because they had a string of bad dating experiences. A few  of my Facebook friends have shared that they no longer hold out hope for finding their special someone through the traditional dating process. Instead, they say, they want it to happen "naturally." They're thinking if they stop caring so much, stop having hope, put up that wall of protection, that it'll be easier to attract Mr or Ms Wonderful. They insist that all of their dates have been "Bad," therefore they take it as a sign that they should simply stop dating. 

Stephen E. Gordon, owner of Guaranteed Girl Getter asks singles to stop acting like victims when they have a bad date. His take on the matter is this;  

"I believe that there's no such thing as a bad date because even if the date goes horribly wrong, then you have even more of an idea of what you don't want. Each interaction we have with another person can either be an opportunity to grow closer in that persons energy, or make the conscious decision to create a romantic barrier between yourself and that person."

The focus seems to shine a bright light on what went wrong on the date, and what was distasteful, rather than looking for the gold nuggets that appear on each and every date.

What ever happened to kissing lots of frogs before finding your prince or princess? I believe that's the "natural" way to find your Wonderful~Delicious™ partner. The reason grandma told you to do a lot of dating is so that you could gather information along the way.

Dating is supposed to be a Huge Research Project. And it's supposed to be Fun!

Here are five guidelines for creating your own dating research project:

1.  Go on lots of dates.

2.  Notice what you like and notice what you don't like on every date.

3.  If you're keeping a written list of positive attributes that you're looking for, come home      from your date and add to your list. Turn the negative things around into the preferred      aspect. For example the frustrating "She talked about herself all night" could be                turned into what you'd rather have experienced, maybe "She's a great                              conversationalist."              

4. Notice that you are getting closer and closer to finding The One as you shorten "bad"       dates and take the information you need to become even more clear on what's perfect     for you in another person.

5. And most important: Stay positive! Tell the funny stories to your friends, laugh it off.         Only you know that you've turned the bad behavior of that poor unfortunate soul into a     Gold Nugget of information. When you say "Thank You" for the date at the end of the       night, you'll really mean it!